Heart under the influence of love.

have you ever felt like you really found the one, that no other can come close to? you don't think you'll ever find someone else that makes you feel the way they do. you have never fallen this hard before & you'll never fall this hard again. they are the last one you will ever love because you've found everything you ever wanted in them. you don't have to go searching anymore. they're what you've been looking for all along, but just didn't know or couldn't find. if you could paint a human masterpiece, they would be the artwork. you never even had a picture of idealism until they walked into your life. all those other times you thought you were in love were merely crushes who seem so minuscule in the shadow of the real thing.

how do you beat that? how do you let something go that is so seemingly perfect? how will you find someone with all those qualities? is it even possible that anybody else exists who embodies this beauty? how will you ever love again? for the first time in your life, you have come face to face with perfection. so how can you just turn around when you're standing so close? how do you convince yourself you don't want something anymore when you still do?

all of that may sound a tad bit insane to you, & you're right. but it's not a mind under the alteration of drugs. it's your heart under the influence of love. of course they aren't perfect, they are a flawed human being just like the rest of us. but what your brain knows your heart, when a captive of love, chooses to ignore. & in battles of the brain vs. the heart, no matter how bloody, the heart always comes out the victor. maybe you really have fallen this deeply before, but your heart has convinced you that this is the most you've ever loved someone. & yes there is someone else out there for you that will give you everything the last one did & more. but you don't want anyone else or what they have to offer. you want that one person. not because they love you back or performed some noble deed for you. just because you love them for who they are, & the way they make you feel in turn. & even though it seems foolish to long for something that you know will never happen, you've never wanted anything else so much as this.

i believe that unrequited love is the truest of all. it's the most selfless because it gives without receiving. it's the strongest because it endures all skepticism, heartache, & disappointment. it's easy to love when you're getting something in return. but to love despite the prospect of never getting it back is difficult.

i'm pouring my heart out, desperately hoping for some solace to this ongoing struggle within me. this is how i really feel, every single day. no one could even make something this complicated up. & you cannot possibly understand unless you've been a victim yourself.

Patiently Waiting

True love will wait forever
Not knowing what's on the other side
Or if the reward at the end
Will be worth the difficult ride

Just taking it in stride
One day at a time
Yet meanwhile terrified
Of getting your hopes too high
Just to fall in the end
Like a raindrop from the sky

The minutes go by like hours
& an hour is more like a day
It doesn't get any easier
But as they always say
No matter what the obstacle
A little faith can go a long way

Worse than saying goodbye
Is the uncertainty that follows
No matter how hard you try
You can't stop thinking of them
The more time that goes by
The worse it becomes

Not knowing precisely when
You'll get to meet again
How soon or far away it may be
Just passing time until then

Thinking of the memories
Of all the time you've spent
Trying to recapture
Every precious moment

Longing merely to be
In their warm presence
Hearing their laughter
Pierce the aching silence

Missing someone you love
Is the most unbearable pain
But when you see each other
You'll know it wasn't in vain